A Little Clarification

I suppose after my first blog, "Social Identity", I may have left some readers with the wrong impression. I understand that as a white person (or European-American) in society that I have been given several privileges, some of which I have only recently become aware of. For example, the other day I was at the mall waiting in line to buy a dress and the cashier ignored the Asian girl standing in front of me. I had to point out to her that the other girl had been waiting in line before me. I don't know if she consciously had decided to serve me first or if she just hadn't noticed the other girl but either way, I think this could definitely qualify as one situation where I was given the benefit of "white privilege".

While I do understand that racism is very pervasive in our society, I am also afraid that by creating these collectivist groups centered on racial or ethnic pride that we may very well be perpetuating the things we are fighting against. Furthermore, I sometimes wonder if it is fair that other people get to celebrate their heritage but I am unable to celebrate mine without seeming like some kind of xenophobic bigot. I think the point of accepting different ethnicities is in accepting everyone's ethnicity. Maybe that is too much of an idealistic goal but I think that we will have to work together to break down stereotypes, and part of the way we do that is by fostering inter-group dialogue. How can we understand another group's culture if we never talk about it? If we constantly live in a hypersensitive society, we will never learn how to reconcile our differences or realize our similarities.

Although I hate UROP, I sometimes find really interesting things that make the project almost worth the several hours I put into it. This past week I found an interesting video made by Will.I.Am of the Black-Eyed Peas that uses clips from Senator Obama's New Hampshire speech. I think my favorite part of the entire video is when John Legend sings in accompaniment to Obama:

"We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change. We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. They will only grow louder and more dissonant. We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check. We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about our hope."
[emphasis added]

I think this is a fantastic message, and one of the many reasons I hope Senator Obama wins the Democratic nominee for President.

I Hate UROP (And Other Non-Epiphanies)

I have spent the last 4 hours in the CLC working on my UROP project. It's not that my project isn't interesting. Finding out what songs Millard Fillmore used for his Presidential Campaign really gets me going. No, it's not the lack of interest. It's the lack of actual work that needs to be done. First of all, most of the songs that I need to get to are located in a collection in the Clements Library. In order to look at this sheet music I have to come between the hours of 1-4 in the afternoon, and I usually have class. I have tried to find some of these songs online but due to copyright laws I can't find any of the lyrics. So I usually spend about 45 to 50 minutes doing actual work and the rest of the time I fiddle around on Youtube and Barely Political finding funny music videos for the 2008 elections, which is way more interesting than Fillmore. Maybe one day I can be like Alex's friend from Stanford who gets people to pay for her to talk about rocks. Except I can talk about Presidential Campaign Songs. I don't think there are to many people out there studying it since I can find NO resources on the topic.

I had this really strange dream last night that my dog came to visit me for a week and I was so busy with exams and writing papers that I forgot to feed her and she died. It was a really depressing dream. It's after I have dreams like that that I wish I wasn't such a vivid dreamer. But, as I recalled this dream at breakfast over a vanilla-cinnamon bagel I thought maybe God was trying to send me a message that I was neglecting something. I am not sure if it is my family, my friends, myself, or my relationship with him. Things like that are too complex to think about over bagels.

Social Identity

The one thing I hate the most about University of Michigan (besides the freakishly cold winters) is that they only provide need based financial aid. According to the government, my family does not fall into this "need-based" category, so I am left paying the $40,000 yearly tuition. So, thinking I would try to save some money I decided to apply to be a Resident Adviser. I got in, but now I have to take this Psychology class on Social Identity.

Taking this class has made me realize one thing. First off, prior to coming to college I have had limited to no experience with people of a different ethnicity than my own. I suppose since I grew up in the little white bubble of Fairview, Tennessee that it was easy for me to pretend racism didn't exist. How could it? Everyone there looked just like me. So now when I have to read all of these articles about "white oppression" I get angry. I can't consciously remember a time when I have said or done something racist. But I sure can remember several times when me being white has affected my chances at getting into school, getting an internship, or receiving a scholarship. How come there are no articles about that? And why do I get labeled "white" when everyone else gets cool hyphenated names like "Asian-American" or "African-American". From now on, I want to be known as "European-American", not white.

I think I have figured out what I am going to do this summer if the internship opportunity in D.C. falls through. There are two options. Option 1 is to go to Leadership Training for New Life. I think this could be a fun trip but would leave me in some debt at the end of the summer. Option 2 is to spend the summer building a writing portfolio of short stories for the Oleander Review and the Hopwood Awards next summer, and possibly sending some out for scholarships. And I could work part-time at Starbucks or Borders. I am thinking Option 2 sounds like a better idea right now, mainly because I am broke and I think my dad would like to have a girl living in the house again.