First Quarter Reflection

For some reason today when I woke up, I was feeling heavily discouraged. It could be that the heavy blanket of snow that now covers Ann Arbor (I thought we were approaching summer? What happened?) or my cold-turning-into-bronchitis that's getting me down. But I think realistically it's that I'm feeling frustrated in achieving some of the goals I had made for myself at the beginning of the year.

FAILS:
(1) Maintaining a 3.7 GPA
(2) Staying in touch with old friends / family members
(3) Strengthening my relationship with God

I don't know why but this semester has been kicking me up and down since it started. My classes have a ridiculous amount of reading, and to top it all off they give it to us with 4 pages to one page, so the font is about this big or smaller. I think I'm quickly losing my vision. In addition, these classes are held in large lecture halls where no one knows each other, I don't talk to my professors, and the exams grade on nitty-gritty details instead of broader concepts. I would much rather write a 15-page paper, please. Not to mention, it's my first time taking math since HIGH SCHOOL, and while I always think I understand my stats homework, I somehow keep making B's on the exams... what gives?

I've also been terrible about keeping in touch with my old friends from home and last semester. I think most people on staff are avoiding me because I always seem busy (I am) or because I don't drink anymore. If it's the latter, I really won't feel to horrible about it. But in any case, I have to work with these people and I don't want them to think I don't like them, I'm just overwhelmed. I think my family is starting to see me as the phantom daughter who only calls when she needs something, but the fact of the matter is I only have time to do those things that are urgent. I know some of this is my fault, I could spend less time with A.M. or N.E., but usually even when I am with these two I am studying or running... not just bumming around.

And maybe all this busy-ness is what is affecting my relationship with God. Although it could be that in combination with my coursework that keeps throwing doubt on everything that I believe. At least the sermon at New Life the past couple of weeks have helped out in some of those areas, but I wish I had more time to really research this stuff on my own, time I probably won't have until summer.... If anyone has any good books or ideas on where to start let me know.

After I thought about all my shortcomings, I started to think that in many ways the reason why I am unsuccessful in some areas is because I am becoming more successful in others...

SUCCESS!
(1) Soberiety
(2) Budgeting
(3) Overall Physical Fitness

As for (1), I just want to say I was never an alcoholic by any means. In fact, I think my intake of alcohol was fairly minimal compared to most college students. But after thinking about it and wavering on it for awhile, I ultimately decided to give up alcohol completely. Now this has definitely not added to my friend-base.. if anything I've lost friends who now believe that I am "uncool" or "not fun" or a "prude". But the basic fact is I feel better (no more wasted days of studying do to a late night out) and I've saved money by not going out to the bars, which leads me to number (2)...

I am not a good budgeter. I like to buy tea, coffee, food, whatever. Mostly comfort items. But since I gave up coffee/caffiene for Lent I haven't had reason to go to Starbucks. A.M. has also helped with this because he discourages my extraneous spending =) For example, last week his fraternity had a semi-formal and I thought I needed to buy a dress and he convinced me not too. It turns out I had a dress that worked out fine, so I saved myself some money.

(3) has been the most challenging, but the most rewarding. Training for a half-marathon is no picnic. Starting out, I hated the days I had to run. Now I've started to look forward to them. Saturday A.M. and I went on a long run that was just under 10-miles and it was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done, physically and mentally. And then around the 9.5 mile mark I dropped my form for a second and ended up tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, scratching up my elbows and knees. But instead of walking back I convinced A.M. I could run it back.. it hurt but I was proud that I didn't give up. And that's what all this running has been teaching me: I can keep going, I don't have to give up. I'm alot stronger than I used to believe, and that's definitely helped me build confidence in my own abilities to do things. Not to mention losing the extra winter weight has been an added incentive...

So maybe I'm not perfect in everything, but I am succeeding in some things. Whenever I found myself doing really well in school or with social areas I always found I was neglecting other areas of my life. Now I'm finding that while I'm not doing fantastic in any one area, my life seems to have reached a balance. And I think I can accept that.

=)

Late Night Chats

12:44 AM me: blah blah blah

i hate studying

come study with me

=D

12:45 AM N: i'm working on my bed

my throat really hurts

i don't feel like going anywhere

12:48 AM me: ok

sorry your throat hurts

are you going to UHS tomorrow?

12:49 AM N: yeah... i need to

me: alright well let me know if they say you have the strep

N: ok. :)

me: if you do, I might need to avoid you... for my own safety

N: yeah, its ok

me: cause I don't get the common kinds anymore

N: i understand

me: and i dont want to be on steroids again =) lol

12:50 AM N: haha

but i really wanted you to become a man

now, my life plans have been ruined

:(

what will i do?

me: Well, maybe we could tell Oprah our story

and she would pay for my sex-change operation

12:51 AM

me: but then I would have to go on Dr.Phil

because Alex would be traumatized

me: and then afterwards we would walk across the street to Jerry Springer's studio

and the three of us would have a throw-down

12:52 AM N: you are ridiculous. i thought i came up with weird things at night, but you are definitely top me tonight.

:P

me: this is all going on my blog,

just so you know...

then the world will be in on our secret

12:53 AM N: that i want you to get a sex change

do work!

you have an exam tomorrow

remember?

in less than 12 hours

work!

:P

12:54 AM me: sorry

Ann Arbor Adventurist - Day 1

As promised, I set off yesterday in search of adventure in my college town, Ann Arbor. There's this neat grocery store up in Kerrytown called People's Co-Op that I've been meaning to visit so that was the first step on this adventure.


I don't think I've seen so many organic products in my entire life. After making it past all the locally-grown fruit and vegetables, organic pasta, and trail mix I stumbled upon the hygiene section. Did you know that there are ORGANIC FEMININE PRODUCTS!? I was astounded. I did not however, take a photo. I didn't want to seem like a creep. I then found some Meatless Jerky that did sort of taste like beef jerky, and some Acai berry juice. I ended up buying the Jerky and Acai juice, along with some Michigan Gala apples. Only down side of buying locally-grown food in February - it's out of season and you tend to get the bottom of the barrel. I think next time I'll just buy the genetically modified food at Meijer.

After doing some light grocery shopping I walked next door to Cafe Verde and ordered an energy bomb juice drink. I think it is suppose to be fruity, because it had apples and oranges in it, but it also had carrots and ginger... so it tasted more like a vegetable juice drink. It was okay, but I don't think I'll ever order one again...



On the way back I stopped by a bookstore and talked to the owner about the joys and hardships of being a bookseller (especially in this struggling economy) and walked out with a Hardcover 35th Anniversary Edition of The Phantom Tollbooth for $4.00 (most listings have it priced at $25.00 if dust-jacket is present and in good condition). I haven't read this book since I was 8 but I remember thinking it was one of the best books I had ever read. I'm hoping I'll have sometime later this week to re-read it.



On my way back to the dorm, I noticed some new graffiti tags by Duck and Swallow. I started noticing their tags sometime back in September. I have no idea if it is one person or two person, but in my imagination Duck & Swallow are a renegade couple that run around Ann Arbor tagging things together as an expression of their love. This is probably not true, but it's a game of mine to notice when they tag something new. I'm not really sure when they did this one, because it was on a street that I don't walk on often, but I like it because there is a picture as well as the taggers signatures.



Another interesting I found was a house with a half address. I always assumed something like this could only be found in a Harry Potter novel, but apparently they really exist. I think it's an old frat-house but it didn't look like anyone lived there now.



I'm not sure where I will go for my next adventure. I spent today catching up on some phone calls and homework, but hopefully tomorrow will be more exciting. I'm thinking about doing a run out to Gallup Park so maybe I'll find a way to carry my camera with me I can snap some shots of the Huron River.

I hope everyone is having a great spring break, preferably somewhere warmer than here!

Spring Break solitude

So this must be what people trapped in Ann Arbor over spring break do to stay sane : blog in the Community Learning Center while a bunch of obnoxiously loud boys play Super Mario Smash Brothers on one of the jumbo screens. Ah well, it beats the dead silence of my room at the moment...

I'm having some mixed feelings about my break right now, mainly because they only thing I have to look forward to is the massive amount of homework I've let pile up during exam week and (possibly) a haircut on Monday. Other than that it's going to be fairly dull around here: the cafeteria is only open for weird hours, my shower is perpetually cold because I live on the fourth floor and it takes forever to pump up there, and all the restaurants in the Union close early. Sigh. At least tonight I was able to convince Phil to drive Eva and I to Qdoba for some yummy chips and queso =)

Some people just have a knack for adventure. Sometimes I find myself slightly jealous of Alex - it seems like he's always having adventures. Even when he's at home he's finding stuff to do. And now he's off climbing in Nevada. Don't get me wrong, I definitely daydream of doing things. I would love to travel to Greece, learn how to sail, and hike a big mountain. But all of these things involve traveling and gear, which also involve lots of money that I don't have. I'm going to try to come up with something fun to do this week though, even if it just involves sledding in the arb...

I hate my job. I really really hate my job. Mainly because I spend my time telling people to stop doing things that most normal people would not do i.e. pee in water fountains, run into windows, spray fire extinguishers, or play orange soda pong an a $1000 pool table. You would think at the nation's top public university that this would not be an issue. You would be mistaken. I feel like I've met more stupid people in college than outside of it.

I'll keep you all posted on all my spring break (mis)adventures. Hopefully something exciting will happen!

Poseidon & Amphitrite

We built a boat for two
Set sail across the great expanse
The lake was a depth of blue
And we watched the fish dance
Across her solid hull
We cut through the waves
Guided by the sea gulls
And the long stretch of caves
That sprung up from the coast
Until we found a sparkling shore
Providing us the most
Beach to explore
And in the shade of the groves
I whispered your name
It echoed through the coves
Coming back the same
You closed the distance between
Us in one swift motion
Everything that had gone unseen
Crashed over me in pure emotion
In our hearts there has begun
A growing love, strong and mighty,
For you are my Poseidon
And I, your Amphitrite.

La Victoire! (Finalement)

It might be possible for me to pass French this semester.

It's Wednesday afternoon, and I am sitting in French class with a massive headache. This is not surprising because I typically get migraines when I have to deal with idiocy or boring classes. My professor proceeds to pass out the Par Ecrit writing assignment. She finishes passing them out and walks to the front of the class when I realize she never handed mine back to me. Now I am freaking out, thinking that maybe she lost it, and now I'm going to have to REWRITE the Par Ecrit because of course she is going to say it's my fault...

As I am playing this internal worrying monologue, my professor starts reprimanding us, in French, for our horrible essays. I will provide a translated version of this conversation, as well as my internal thoughts in italics:

"I have to tell you, class, that these essays were not good. I can tell many of you rushed through them and did not pay attention to the prompt."
I totally did not answer this prompt.. what was I thinking watching the election results instead of starting on it earlier!?
"I probably should have given you all lower grades than I did but I think maybe I did not do a good job of explaining what I wanted in the essay"

Then, she picks up my blue writing folder from the table. I immediately recognize it because there is a large drawing of a star on the back that I did during class one day when I couldn't stand to listen to her rattle on about Senghor any longer.

Oh crap. She is going to say mine was the worst paper ever. I hope she doesn't read it in front of the class...
"D'accord, I thought one of you did very well on this assignment"
Wait... WHAT!?

Then, she proceeds to read my entire essay to the class, remarking on my wonderful use of vocabulary and lack of grammar mistakes. I am honestly, shocked. I think my face might have turned the same color pink as my scarf in that moment. Everyone in the class is looking around to see whose essay it is. Then, after she finishes reading it, she walks over and hands me my folder and everyone in the class looks as shocked as me because they all know I am HORRIBLE in French.

I don't know how this happened. But all I know is that (1) I have an awesome God and (2) He's making sure I don't fail French. And that's enough for me.

Lauren Helps Me Write My Paper...

This is what I get after I ask my sister to help me summarize some points to my research paper:

Story - Girl lives in NY, lush, slut, anorexic, shopaholic, works in clothing factory, cotton particles of fire in her lungs, roommate says she is going to get TB if she doesn’t let her momma her, bf = sickness, doesn’t listen, dances, TB, too much dancing, stops at TBA and read symptoms, so her own damn fault, bitch is dumb, doctor says go to the country, meets another TB victim, and had TB sex….leading to a super TB. Ew."


I think I'm going to have to get some one who actually knows a bit about history to help me with this one...